Same Shit Different Day
My place to share all the random, funny stuff I find on the internet
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Photoset reblogged from the impossible cool.
The Polished Man: A few tips to make your life a bit more gentlemanly.
Presented by Aramis
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So this is from an email that a friend sent me. Some of them are pretty funny….
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely,
Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco….
Sincerely, United States
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere
Dear Anne Frank,
Two can play this game….
Sincerely, Waldo
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore
Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol
Dear Mr. Gump
WTF are you talking about? There’s a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you’re gonna get….
Sincerely, Jenny
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream…. What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka
Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Man,
It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper -
Video reblogged from American Drink
“Wait!”
Suntory time, Sammy Davis Jr. style.
Big ups Guy English.
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Two things to note:
1) He is a former Civil Engineer. Way to make the profession proud.
2) “Camping said he felt bad that Saturday had come and gone without the Rapture he had felt so certain would take place.”
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Yep, that pretty much sums it up…
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Photo reblogged from Look At This Fucking Person
Look at this fucking person next to a red car.
This should be a print ad for 4Loko. Any drink that will make a girl will pull down her pants and sit down on a dirty curb to text someone is something I want to drink.
She’s not just sitting on the curb, she’s peeing. She’s pulled her pants down and is sitting on the curb, taking a piss and texting someone. Here’s your ad copy: “4Loko: Because It Will Do This To You”.
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Link reblogged from American Drink
A simple list of rules to live by.
